Are you in Denial?
Last week, I talked a bit about being ready to change, rather than just being ready for things to change around you. (You can read the post here.)
I see people getting stuck in these stages of change again and again, in their personal lives and in their businesses. It’s a human thing, apparently! Over the next several weeks, I want to talk more about each of the stages of change and how to know when you’re stuck in them. And of course, what you can do to get past them.
If you’re facing a big change in your life (and starting a business is a life changing event!), the first thing you’ll likely experience is a bit of denial. In business, this happens a lot more often than you might think. In almost every size and shape of business, it’s easy to ignore the warning signs that things aren’t working, or that customer needs have changed, or that we need to do something different about how we’re running the show. In our search for control and stability in our lives, we fail to notice the signs that change is happening all around us, all the time.
When you’re starting your business, denial takes a slightly unusual form though. Often, denial shows up as these kind of thoughts:
“I probably can’t do it. Who am I to start a business? So many others are doing it better than I am already. I have nothing special to offer. I’m not good/smart/rich/famous/extroverted/etc., enough.”
In her book, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles, Marianne Williamson said:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
Denial is where we get stuck at the beginning when we fear our own greatness.
To move out of denial, we need two things:
- A wake up call. Without a sense of urgency, it will be too easy for you to ignore your fears rather than face them. So ask yourself what you are really here for. What will the world miss out on if you don’t try? What do you really have to lose? What do you have to gain?
- Lots of truth. You need to do some soul searching so that you can realize your true gifts and be inspired by your own power and light inside of you. Get help from people who love and know you best. Ask them if they think these fears are real or not!
Right now, you can do some great development work and really push yourself out of that denial stage by signing up for my FREE e-course – Are you Ready for Self-Employment. (You can sign up here.) It’s all about uncovering those hidden sparks inside you that you keep denying are there. And once you find them, once you feel them radiating from within you, I can promise you denial is not going to be holding you down any more!
You were meant to do good in the world, my friends. Get out of denial and get out there and do your good. (You know I’m right about this!)
Next week, I’ll talk about the next stage – Realization! – and what you can do to help move yourself one step further to bringing real change into your life and into your business.
What changes are you struggling with right now? Where are you on this change curve?